Save Your Failing Marriage From Burning Out
Don’t give up if you feel your marriage is failing — most of the time it is well worth it to try to keep your marriage from burning out.
There are many things you can do that aren’t difficult or time consuming. Mostly they are ones that show understanding and compassion for your spouse. If you do that, you will be surprised at how your marriage may turn around and be saved after all.
Keep romance in your marriage by setting up “date nights” and doing activities that will bring back the “old feelings” that existed early on. Share your hobbies and activities, if possible, to get a closer feeling between you.
Another thing that can help save your marriage is spending some time apart, hours that is, and not days. Each of you needs to have separate activities with friends and family. Somehow being apart even for a few hours usually makes a person realize that he or she misses the spouse!! Plus you come back with enthusiastic things to talk about, and that makes for a much better mood.
Things cannot always be rosy, so recognize the “buttons” that are pushed that lead to your fights, and avoid them. It is as simple as that!! Don’t let every little thing develop into the proverbial mountain when it is really a molehill. Just let a possible argument go if it isn’t important and don’t even bring it up.
“Zip your lip” and try to aim for the old saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!!” Try this because it really works and can make a big difference as you struggle to save your marriage. How can you be angry with someone (or they with you) if you are both saying only nice things?
Change your own behavior if necessary because chances are that you cannot change your spouse’s habits. It is a fallacy to think that you can make a person over, so work on your own improvement instead. Take responsibility for changing the aspects of your behavior that will work to save your marriage.
To put more positive feelings in your relationship, sit down and agree to a list of chores around the house or with the children and divide them up between you. Perhaps one of you truly has more time than the other, so do it proportionately. Then you won’t feel like you are carrying the whole burden on your own shoulders.
Also remember that if you praise your spouse and thank him/her for the chores done, he/she won’t mind helping out and will feel happy to do so and will be of even more help in the future.
It is necessary to work at a marriage, but the rewards are worth it. If you really want it, you will save your marriage!
Janet Stephenson is an experienced marriage counselor in the Texas, USA.
is a marriage counselor with over 12 years of experience. Stephenson runs her own practice in the state of TX and has helped thousands of people restore their marriages.