Why do Celebrities have such a High Divorce Rate?

Kim and KrisI often ask why celebrities seem so bad at picking suitable partners for a love to last, and certainly not to last a lifetime.  So many seem to separate or divorce each year.  Many are only married a matter of months or a few years.  Statistically, they have got to rank above a 75% divorce rate.

Why do you think they are dismal at successful marriages?  I have some theories, but would be interested in yours, the reader.

Off the top of my head, I can think of many reasons such as:

  • Typically being apart for long periods of time.
  • They are often emotional people (that’s what makes them good actors) who are easily attracted to others and mistake infatuation for love.
  • Temptation of close encounters with co-stars or adoring fans.
  • Addicted to the limelight and jumping in too soon.
  • Sometimes addicted to other stimulants too.
  • Influenced by the media and hype about them.
  • It is too easy to give up, rather than put the effort in to work through the differences. (Jump in and jump out too fast).

Today though, I am going to put on my behavioural specialist hat.  To be a true star takes a particular type of personality, it isn’t always the case, but the majority of those who make it to the top have a very similar dynamic personality.

Having studied many different personality-profilingtools (psychometric testing),I believe the one that is head and shoulders above the rest is WEALTH DYNAMICS created by Roger James Hamilton.  Wealth Dynamics is based on the 5,000 IChing (the book of change).  The concept suggests that all of us fitting into 8 distinct profiles: Creator, Star, Support, Dealmaker, Trader, Accumulator, Lord or Mechanic.

The names of the eight profiles are very descriptive of the profile, and it is possible to get to the top of your game (whatever that is) no matter which profile you are.  In fact, Roger provides numerous examples of successful billionaires, world leaders, business experts and even cartoon characters that fit under each of the profiles.

To succeed in the world of entertainment, for instance, it is all about the person as a brand.  Thus typically there is a high dominance of Star profiles in Hollywood.  That is no problem, unless you are two ‘Stars’ living under the same roof.   That’s when trouble can set in

A Star is about shining the light, whether it is on themselves as ‘the brand’, or on a movie they have just completed, or on a charity or cause they believe strongly in.  However, they are not so good at ‘sealing the deal’, attention to detail or providing consistent customer service.

OprhaOprah is one of the best-known ‘Star’ profiles.  Her whole business is about shining the light onto others.  Rarely does Oprah make herself the centre of attention.  However, she also knows her strengths.  She has an army of people who do the research and feed her with the most relevant information, that she then knows how to best present.  That is why, even if she has only met her guests 10 minutes early, she gives the impression she has known them all her life.

If there are two Stars both trying to compete and very limited complementary personality to pick up the slack, then in time, cracks will form and the marriage will break down.  Very few couples really understand how their personalities, values and goals can have such an impact on their lives.  Those who do put into place strategies that address the areas that they have challenges in.  Too many similarities and too many differences in a couple have the same affect.

For instance, if two Stars marry, then they need to recognise when one will be the ‘Star’ and when the other needs to take the back seat.  As long as they take it in turns.  Also, they need to establish a trusted support mechanism around them that looks after the detail needed for a successful life.  Many stars do this with their professional lives e.g. agents (dealmakers), assistants (supporters), financial managers (Accumulators), lawyers (Lords).  However, do they consciously do this with their personal lives too?

celebrityWhen two stars get together there will be fireworks, the knack is not to let them burn out otherwise the show is over.It’s not inevitable though; some celebrity couples have made it through the stardom marriage obstacle course.  Couples such as Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Paul Newman and Joanna Woodward, Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer) and Keith Richards and Patti Hansen to name a few.

However, if celebrities suddenly started taking marriage seriously and even applying the strategies that we teach at Love2Last, their marriages might start lasting a lifetime.  Then where would half the world be, life for many would be quite boring without their daily dose of gossip. 

It would also put a lot of people out of work, the gossip media wouldn’t have much to report and the courts and divorce lawyers would be far less busy.  Not to mention social media, what would Instagram, Facebook and Twitter have to talk about (Lol)!!

Lets face it, the thrill of celebrity marriages, separations and divorces is always ‘news’ and something for people to read and talk about.  The fact is these people are really just like you and me, and often have families who are hurting too.  This doesn’t seem to enter the equation, and is often considered the price of fame.

Celebrities are often an extreme example of how important it is to understand you and your partner’s personalities.  Psychometric testing doesn’t just belong in the work place, but in the family too. Knowing how to communicate in a way that is most important to each other, recognising why someone acts the way they do, and accepting the differences is a huge step forward in making marriages and blended families work.

Over the next few months I am going to be exploring Family Dynamics in a lot more detail.  We will be introducing to you some tools you can use to harness the power of this knowledge, as well as some practical actions you can take that will dramatically improve the dynamics within your family.

Here are a couple of links that you might find interesting

Celebrities Shortest Marriages

Here is a video that shows some of the shortest marriages in Hollywood!
http://www.popsugar.com.au/celebrity/Shortest-Celebrity-Marriages-37026944

Celebrities Longest Marriages

http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2014/07/21/longest-celebrity-marriages_n_5593162.html?ir=Australia

 
Author and experienced relationship coach, Gillian Andale is the owner of Love2Last, a coaching and resource centre dedicated to couples who have found love again, want a new beginning and aim to strengthen and grow their relationship as well as need help in blended family situations.  Visit www.love2last.co to browse and see the wealth of information available.

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