The Big Announcement
The roller coaster of emotions, the excitement and trepidation, oh you can’t believe how lucky you just are… You’re Engaged!
Now you are about to announce it to the world. Apart from asking details about the proposal, and whether you said YES, you need to be ready with the answers to two questions: When do you plan to get married, and Where! You can always change them later, but most people will immediately be thinking about their own plans.
So, who should you tell first?
If you have children, they should be the first to know, followed by parents, ex-partners, siblings, and close friends, in that order, and followed by everyone else.
Be very sensitive about giving your young children the news. Once they know, any dream they held of their parents reuniting is shattered. Make them feel as safe, loved, and included as possible.
Your children’s feelings deserve to be expressed and respected. Walk the line between repressing and over-indulging their feelings.
Grown children often react thoughtlessly or unkindly. Be patient with their questions. Listen to them. They have your best interests at heart (really), and may raise some valid points. Show the children how happy you are.
If you’re close to your parents, you’ll be eager to tell them your news. Whatever their reaction, remind yourself their feelings are their own and really have nothing to do with yours.
Let your ex know that you’re marrying again sooner than later; they shouldn’t hear it from the children first. Meet to discuss your future plans, the impact on the children and the coming changes. If you can’t or won’t meet face to face, then the next best option is a telephone call; a letter or email should be the last resort.
Some etiquette sources suggest announcements for encore marriages should wait until after the ceremony, while others say you should handle them just like your first. It’s entirely up to you to decide this together.
Remember that under all the details of duties and in-laws and ten thousand practical concerns, it comes down to you, your partner, and your children creating your own shared destiny.
Congratulations, plan for this to be a love to last …this time.
Author and experienced relationship coach, Gillian Andale is the owner of Love2Last, a coaching and resource centre dedicated to couples who have found love again, want a new beginning and aim to strengthen and grow their relationship as well as need help in blended family situations. Visit www.love2last.co to browse and see the wealth of information available.