Steps to Creating Financial Intimacy in Your Relationship
It is no secret that money problems cause more arguments between couples than any other family problems and has been identified as one of the major contributing factors to why couples divorce. The reality is that oftentimes couples are not taught the necessary skills to manage and communicate about their finances prior to getting married. Talking about money is also still considered to be a very taboo subject in many households.
Many couples fail to identify if they are financially compatible with their partners prior to getting into a serious relationship. Persons have different money patterns, behaviors and beliefs that can create financial distance and strain in a relationship. In fact, opposites normally attract when it comes to the way couples manage their finances. It is not unusual for one person to be a saver and the other a spender.
The good news is that relationships can survive when couples have differences in financial logic. Creating financial intimacy in one’s marriage can be difficult at first, however once it has been established, the relationship can prosper. So how does one create this level of intimacy?
Tips for Creating Financial Intimacy
• Gain awareness and clarity around your money patterns and beliefs.
• Try to understand and respect differences in how your partner views money
• Establish clear and specific goals
• Find a way to blend your financial strengths so that you can work together as a team
• Set up a money management plan that keeps both of you informed
• Brainstorm as a team to explore creative solutions to problems. Be willing to compromise
• Focus on common goals
• Learn to listen without judgment
• Discuss solutions to any problems that may come up.
• Be willing to seek the help of a professional if needed
Having a healthy relationship with your finances is an essential part to any relationship. Honesty and open communication not only increases emotional and physical intimacy, but financial intimacy as well. Overall it decreases stress, anxiety, and tension. If your relationship is struggling in any of these areas, working with a financial therapist can get you back on track.
Nikiya Spence, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Certified Money Coach with over ten years of clinical experience.
Nikiya has been debt free and living a money conscious lifestyle for several years. She received training with the Money Coaching Institute and specializes in helping individuals and couples transform their relationship, habits, and behavior with money to increase their wealth.
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