Running a household is a tedious job especially if the woman works. When some wives think about the tasks generally fall on their shoulders, they sometimes want to scream. Why am I the one who is in charge of the laundry, the bills, the cooking, the housecleaning, the grocery shopping, and the kids’ activities?
Many couples come into marriage with their preconceived ideas about the duties of a husband and a wife. Most husbands definitely don’t picture themselves vacuuming floors and changing diapers. Cultures vary on a number of issues involving what the husband’s role in the family should be.
Amelia Earhart wrote, “Marriage is a mutual responsibility and I cannot see why husbands shouldn’t share in the responsibility of the home. By that I mean something more detailed – and for as long as it takes them to get used to the ideas, perhaps more arduous, ever uncomfortable to the men – than merely keeping a roof over the collective head, and coal in the furnace.”
Josephine queried, “What is wrong with his helping me around the house? He acts like a husband should not do anything around the house. Before we married he helped me wash dishes when he had supper at our house.”
Paul is a workaholic who has little time left for his wife. Joan works part-time. Paul acknowledged that Joan was a good mother, good housekeeper and an excellent cook but there was simply no affection coming from her. “I work my hands to bones and there is simply no appreciation,” he complained.
While Joan complained that Paul does nothing to help in the house and had no time for her. Though she accepted he is a good provider.
Helping your wife with house chores not only gives the husband greater insight into the problems of maintaining a house but also gives his wife the reassurance that their home is of mutual interest and concern.
Couples must figure out who does what in the home. The important thing is for you and your husband to have a mutual understanding of one another’s roles as you work through the responsibilities of your household together. At times when you are both relaxed and comfortable, dutifully discuss what a healthy balance of responsibilities would be in your home. Decide what each of you can do to support your marriage and the proper running of your household. Work together to divide chores as best as you can.
After the two of you have determined what is right, reasonable, and fair for both of you to do around the home, the women should set in their mind that they will always do more than their fair share. Don’t nag grumble, or complain. The reward will be a well-kept home. Be faithful to keep up with your responsibilities and do your part to make the household run smoothly without focusing on what your husband is or is not doing.
If your husband is the sole breadwinner in the family, you can take the major part of running the home front. He can be more effective in his job if he is supported by a well-run home. Part of your role, is understanding the struggles, your husband may face in a typical day and recognizing that he may be coming home tired and weary. Perhaps he had to deal with a challenging situation or a difficult customer or colleague at work; maybe he had to drive through chaotic traffic for an hour home. When he walks through the door, the last thing he needs is to be confronted with a list of chores or a litany of complaints. Instead, welcome him home with a smile and hug and help him to feel happy to be home.
If both of you are employed, you will have to work harder to find a healthy and agreeable balance between you. Both of you have to compromise. Consider each other’s time and workload at the place of work because both of you have different levels of responsibilities outside the home. Look for solutions to make your life together less stressful. If you have more money than time, hire someone else to do some chores, so that your time and energy can go into activities that you need to do yourself.
When dividing domestic chores, take into consideration the unique gifts, abilities, and talents each of you possess. Your husband may be a wonderful decorator, both inside the house and out in the garden. He may be gifted at it and he loves gardening, and lawn maintenance. On the other hand you can handle the bills, do laundry, and handle household maintenance. Every couple’s situation is different which means the division of labor in the household responsibilities.