Save This Marriage – My Partner is an Addict
A happy and successful marriage will have things such as honesty and good communication between the spouses and it goes without saying that trust is extremely vital as well. If the bond of trust between the parties is broke then this means that the relationship has suffered a devastating blow to its integrity as well and this can often spell out the ultimate demise of the relationship. The spouse who has been betrayed will have a hard time recovering from the breach of trust committed by their partner and the spouse who has broken the trust will no doubt struggle to process the enormity of what they have done.
Whilst we tend to associate a breach of marital trust with the likes of infidelity or having an affair, not all affairs manifest themselves in the guise of another human and many marital partners suffer from personal demons in another guise: addictive personality. Coming to terms with living with a partner who suffers from an addiction is an extremely traumatic affair and one that many spouses will suffer to come to grips with. Many feel resentment and outright anger towards the addicted spouse, blaming them for being “weak” and for their inability to resist temptation that comes their way.
The truth of the matter is that no one ever willfully chooses to be an addict. The allure of addiction is that the addiction provides a means of temporary relief and salvation from the problems and stresses suffered by the addict. Of course, such relief and succor is temporary and is quickly overshadowed by the consequences and ramifications of the addiction whether this is down to risks to health, wealth or legal status.
It is important that regardless of your own personal feelings towards your spouse that they enroll in a support network and group in order to help them overcome their particular addiction. Make sure that you are there with them every step of the way, because a major stressful event such as a divorce or separation maybe enough to tip them over the edge into a full blown mental breakdown.
Addicts rely on their addiction to provide them with some degree of comfort, therefore the onus falls on the supporting spouse to show that they can provide an equivalent degree of support and emotional stability for the addict spouse. Do not give up hope and do not write off your spouse as a lost cause.
Lanny A Ward