Welcome to your future
Acknowledge yourself for having the courage to try again, and the humility to seek help in doing it.
It is quite normal going into a new commitment to feel a kaleidoscope of emotions – excitement, fear, happiness, anxiety. But guess what, you are not alone – almost all people facing a new beginning feel the same. That is where we come in, to help you to both face and plan your future.
The statistics for divorce, and multiple divorces are incredibly high. In fact reportedly 65% of second marriages fail, so we want you to go in with your eyes open so you beat the statistics. By being informed and understanding the risks before you commit gives you more of a headstart than most couples. Here at Love2Last we, not only help you see the risks but give you guidance as to how to deal with them.
Doing what you have always done will give you the results you have always gotten. Why not try some new things, some new behaviours and strategies, so the past will not repeat itself.
You cannot look at your life as a whole. It is useful to see it from many perspectives, the ones we suggest are: heath, finances, family, community, work, creativity and spirit. Typically we are only strong in one or two areas, but you and your partner working together to achieving a level of balance you are certainly starting to bullet proof your future. By learning and benefiting from each other’s strengths (and supporting the weaknesses) you increase greatly your chances of success…this time.
…and don’t forget what makes it all worthwhile…LOVE.
Deja Vu Again
Whether you have been divorced, widowed or are remarrying your old partner you are likely to be cautious. Take the time to make sure you are sure. It may not just be you who is affected by your decision…this time.
All relationships have their ups and downs and this builds a lasting relationship. The easy times are gifts but the challenges are where we really grow, as long as it is not damaging. Be honest and take responsibility about your part in your previous relationship, so you can lay it to rest for good. What we think about we tend to bring about, so focus on creating a successful, loving marriage to last.
If your previous partner passed away, celebrate them, they will always be a part of you. but honour your new partner and don’t make comparisons. If you are starting a romance again with your ex, remember what went wrong before and make sure you resolve them, and above all else think of your children if you have them, don’t hurt them twice.
There is no need to rush in, settle your baggage and understand what happened before. Learn from the Past, Plan for the Future, but live in the Present.
Marriage in the 21st Century
Today’s world is fast-paced and accelerating. The concept of marriage keeps evolving as new family realities emerge. At no time has there been more challenges and pressures on couples. The fast pace that technological advancements are impacting our lives; the pressures from media via movies, TV and print; the multi-billion dollar wedding industry and our own family and friends.
In the new norm there is room for everyone’s normal to be a little different. It must reflect modern family dynamics, where over 50% of families are not all biologically related.
Our relationship with our children is also different, gone are the days of compliant teenagers, but they are not always wrong – just different. As adults it is our responsibility to bridge the gap and be prepared to adapt.
Marriage is no longer an expectation, it is a choice. People still want to celebrate their unions and want the world as their witness.
The nature of relationships is evolutionary. They will never arrive at a fixed dynamic but are ever changing. Don’t forget, the institution of marriage was conceived 1000s of years ago when most couples barely lasted until their off spring were adults, today it has to survive seeing 3,4 or even 5 generations grow up.
Do you feel the same today as you did 10 years ago? Do you still believe the same things, interested or do the same things? want the same things? Unlikely, but how do you have a relationships that grows with you and matures as you mature? Also the goal is to have your personal relationships come along with you on your journey, but for your marriage to last and grow you must be willing to step beyond personal, traditional or cultural blueprints. However before you start your new journey together you do need to check that you want it to go in the same direction at least. Flourishing relationships require equal commitment and effort from both partners.
No Marriage is a Failure
We have a need to feel successful right away, but marriage, like everything else, takes practice. Luckily we have a powerful desire to learn how to love and we will do what it takes to achieve it.
Statistically it is proven that love marriages are no more successful than arranged marriages, the major difference lies in expectations. Manage the expectations and you have a much better recipe for your new love lasting a lifetime. There are no failures though, merely ongoing lessons in love. If you perceive your previous marriage as a failure, then so will those around you, especially your children. So focus on how it helped you to grow and be ready for the partner you are with today.
Remember marriages don’t fail; they simply end. Life is a series of seasons that bring new challenges and opportunities. Sometimes it is simply not possible for a relationship to last throughout all seasons.