Author: Gillian

A New Home Gives Space to Blending Families

When two families join together through marriage, there are a number of issues that need to be sorted out so that everyone feels comfortable with the new family unit. One important item that needs to be settled prior to the wedding day is the question about where this new mixed family will live. As we […]

Love, Marriage and Money

Love, Marriage and Money

The f-word. Finances. Combining love and money may be the biggest stumbling block on the path of true love, creating more rifts in relationships than in-laws, drug and alcohol addiction, or infidelity. Financial power struggles challenge even the most solid partnership. Unfortunately, money too often equates to control in a relationship. The delicate balance of […]

Save Your Failing Marriage From Burning Out

marrying again

Don’t give up if you feel your marriage is failing — most of the time it is well worth it to try to keep your marriage from burning out. There are many things you can do that aren’t difficult or time consuming. Mostly they are ones that show understanding and compassion for your spouse. If […]

Getting Your Family Organized

Getting Your Family Organized

Getting organized is not just about organizing yourself. It’s about organizing your family as well. No man (or woman) can do it alone – at least not without driving themselves crazy! From time to time, I have been asked by my clients to help them not only get better organized around the house but get […]

Why Money Matters in Marriage

Why Money Matters in Marriage

As the old Beatles song goes, “Money can’t buy me love.” However, the fact remains that money plays a very important role in our relationships. Indeed, if you have decided to get engaged, this is when the soul-searching begins. No, I’m not referring to choosing the perfect caterer for your dream wedding, but to the […]

Spending Addiction – Save Your Marriage

Spending Addiction - Save Your Marriage

Money can be the source of financial stress, resentment and arguments for many couples. Many marriages have caved in under the pressure of too much debt, poor investment choices, spending addictions, or overspending to maintain a lifestyle that is financially inappropriate. In this article I’m going to discuss spending addictions. You know you have a […]

Divorce to Remarriage: Stop! Couple Time!

Divorce to Remarriage Stop Couple Time

Divorce is a crazy time in everyone’s life. Once we’re able to move forward into a new relationship and begin thinking about remarriage, life may begin to feel more comfortable. But, this is a relationship just like any relationship and it requires regular maintenance. But how do we fit that maintenance in, with everything else […]

Child Custody Issues in Step Parenting

Step parenting involves dealing with a lot of child custody issues. These issues range from making sure one of the parents can pick up a child for visitation to preparing for custody court. For many step parents, learning how to deal positively with the custody issues cuts down on stress and helps them develop good […]

Save This Marriage – My Partner is an Addict

A happy and successful marriage will have things such as honesty and good communication between the spouses and it goes without saying that trust is extremely vital as well. If the bond of trust between the parties is broke then this means that the relationship has suffered a devastating blow to its integrity as well […]

Second Marriages and Stepchildren

But like most problems, there are things that can be done when you have stepchildren and still be able to enjoy a relatively cohesive second marriage. The first thing is to have understanding and to realize that anything worth having takes time and hard work. Also, realize that realistic expectations will be knowing that: – […]

Marriage Help For Men – Doing Your Part

For many years, I was clueless about this arrangement called marriage. It shouldn’t surprise me how many men have trouble in marriage, but it still does. We men seem to have very selfish ideas about housework, bills, children, and especially relationship maintenance. Sure, most of us go out and slay the career beast, but, let’s […]

Steps to Creating Financial Intimacy in Your Relationship

It is no secret that money problems cause more arguments between couples than any other family problems and has been identified as one of the major contributing factors to why couples divorce. The reality is that oftentimes couples are not taught the necessary skills to manage and communicate about their finances prior to getting married. […]

Grandparents and Step-Grandchildren

The following will describe some of the ways why there may be a difference between biological grandchildren and step-granchildren. One of the things is how old the child is when they come in to your life. If they were young, as my grandchild was at two years old, I can’t see that there should be […]

Should Working Men Do Chores?

Running a household is a tedious job especially if the woman works. When some wives think about the tasks generally fall on their shoulders, they sometimes want to scream. Why am I the one who is in charge of the laundry, the bills, the cooking, the housecleaning, the grocery shopping, and the kids’ activities? Many […]

Effects of Pornography on Marriage 

Despite the claims of some that pornography can be a helpful marital aid, many researchers assert that the effects of pornography actually serve to decrease marital satisfaction.In fact, due to the negative effects of pornography, couples who use it (compared to those who don’t) actually have less frequent sex and less satisfying sex. One of […]

How Do You Bond With Your Step Family?

Going through a divorce is a distressing and heartbreaking experience for any individual, but if you have children who are going through the divorce with you, then it surely intensifies the stress. If you decide to re-marry you need to take into consideration your family as well as your spouse-to-be. Re-marrying is not just about […]

9 Signs Emotional Intimacy is Suffering in a Marriage

Marriage quickly deteriorates into a boring, cold, and lonely existence for one or both mates when the couple loses emotional intimacy in the marriage. Emotional connectedness of couples has diminished so greatly today, husbands and/or wives become unhappy in the marriage. Then, the marriage can grow silent, angry, or resentful. This is where extramarital affairs […]

House Hunting For the Blended Family

House Hunting for the Blended Family Budget Discuss with your future spouse the ideal budget for a new home. Make sure you choose a range that you can afford. Try to keep your house payments to 25% of your income (33% at the very most.) You may have two houses that need selling. Make sure at least one of […]

Drug Addiction Treatment for Women Facing Divorce

Marriages can suffer annihilating effects from drugs and alcohol abuse. There have been issues like financial problems, health problems and emotional instability as a result of substance abuse which leaves load of burden and responsibilities on the spouse’s shoulders. If drug addiction treatment for women is not summoned quickly, it could turn out worse and […]

My Husband Won’t Let Me (Step) Parent

Dear Lauren,  I adore my step-children and I want to share in their lives.  My husband seems to resent this.  He often speaks in terms of ‘me’ and ‘mine’ when referring to them or to activities that we share with these children.  I have no children of my own and understood when we got married […]

Financial Bliss for the Blended Family

Ask anyone who’s merged two families into a new family unit and they’ll tell you it’s a bit of a challenge. In addition to learning how to adjust to new roles and rules, blended families face the complicated task of combining their finances. Keep these seven tips in mind to enhance the financial compatibility of […]

Step Parenting – A Challenge

It is usual to travel through thin and skinny in life. You thought life would be difficult being a parent, however you want to never have imagined that life would be even more durable being a step parent. Some months ago, your spouse would have looked for a divorce attorney or a divorce lawyer to […]

Stop Drinking and Save Your Marriage Now!

Life takes on a feverish ‘spin’ when alcoholism becomes the root of unwanted behavioral problems in family life and the scenario becomes worse if there are kids in the family… Showing signs of being too dependent on alcohol is the first sign of trouble and if prolonged, and still denied by the alcoholic, will lead […]

Replace Stepfamily Myths With Realistic Expectations

Typical multi-home stepfamilies are similar to intact biological families in a number of ways. At the same time, they also differ structurally, developmentally, and dynamically in over sixty ways! People unaware of these differences, and what they mean to typical adults, kids and supporters, risk unconsciously using inappropriate or harmful biological family norms and expectations […]

Grandparents and Stepchildren: Getting That “Something Special”

Grandparents and Stepchildren: Getting That “Something Special”

“What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, and lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies.” ~Rudolph Giuliani “The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy.” ~Sam Levenson “Perfect love sometimes does not come until […]

Finances in a Blended Marriage – How to Avoid Money Potholes

Second marriages have their own challenges and potholes, particularly concerning money, and especially when step-kids are involved. Any time a family is blended together the potential exists for conflict. And financial conflict is always the worst kind in any relationship. Indeed, money differences may well have been responsible for the breakup of the first marriage. […]

Divorce, Remarriage, and Step Parenting

Here’s an eye opener: while the divorce rate among couples married for the first time is slightly over fifty percent, it’s even higher among those with second marriages. And because nearly three-quarters of those who end their first marriages in divorce marry again within three to five years, there are a lot of kids going […]

Happy New Year – Why the world needs Love2Last!

Like so many of my friends and colleagues, I am currently engaged in reflecting on my previous year’s achievements and am busily creating plans for 2015. This year, I am looking at launching more coaching programs; helping couples join their lives better; focusing on blended families and the wider ‘family’ issues; as well as introducing more strategies […]

Creating New Christmas Traditions

christmas recipes, Christmas Traditions, family tradition, holiday recipe, holiday traditions, homemade candy Making new Christmas traditions is a valuable way to cope with the first Christmas after the death of a loved one, or yif ou’ve just married into a new family. Creating new family traditions is also a good way to stay healthy at […]

Family Rituals and Routines

Copyright (c) 2008 Mary Ann Copson Family ties, connections, and time together are an anchor that grounds your life in the world and infuses it with meaning. The rituals, routines and traditions that define and safeguard your family time are essential for high-level health, happiness and personal meaning and success. Family rituals and routines make […]

Step-Parenting & The New Marriage

Dear Lauren, I was recently married to a woman who has three sons.  I married with the full intention and desire to help parent and raise the boys.  Now I am finding that I meet a lot of resistance from my wife.  Every time I tell the boys to do or not do something, she […]

What Makes Strong and Nurturing Families?

Human beings have the longest dependency on others than any other living creature. We spend our lives in relationships, either toxic or nurturing. If the family of origin was not supportive and loving, we either repeat that pattern or look for other mentors and teachers. Can you visualize a closed fist as opposed to an […]

Increasing Your Family Quality Time

I just read a mind blowing statistic.  According to a survey conducted by the Nielsen Company, the average amount of time that parents spend in meaningful conversation with their children is a mere thirty-nine minutes per week – or, less than six minutes per day!  Six minutes per day?  Really?  Does this statistic surprise you?  […]

Tips to discuss finances with your spouse

As much as most couples deny it, money is one of the main reasons they argue. Differences in salaries, spending habits, attitude towards money can make it difficult for couples to manage their finances. Most newlyweds enter marriage not fully knowing what money issues can bring especially if there are still loans to finish off, […]

Communication in Families

Communication within the family is extremely important because it enables members to express their needs, wants, and concerns to each other. Open and honest communication creates an atmosphere that allows family members to express their differences as well as love and admiration for one another. It is through communication that family members are able to […]

Family Marriage Counseling – Is it My Last Resort?

There is no marriage or relationship out there that is continuously swish sailing. A wedding is rarely free from bother, issues or obstacles. The main factor is when couples are faced with wedding troubles, how they navigate through those problems and coming back up triumphant is important. Sadly, most couples examine family marriage counseling as […]

3 Tips for Newlyweds to Invest Your Money Wisely

You and your fiancé have probably already had to make a few big decisions together – pick a date…how many people…where to have the wedding…Were all of these decisions easy? Did you always agree? Decisions and plans abound. The more you do up front, the better off you will be, so: Don’t leave out working […]

Managing Finances As a Couple – What is Best

You may find it difficult to manage finances together when you’ve been acustom to managing your finances alone. But when you become part of a couple, many things change, and your finances are no exception! Some couples take the traditional path of blending all their money together, however today more and more couples are deciding […]

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Finance and the Family

The breaking point in many marriages has been finances. Couples argue over when to spend, what to spend, how to share but remain financially independent, and similar financial issues. Certain couples argue throughout their entire lives about finances and it’s an issue that is almost never resolved. What if there were simple steps to take […]

Financial tips every married couple should know

Many marriages end in divorce due to disagreements over money. For some reason, finances are not often comfortably discussed by married couples. While there may be financial advice available, married couples still find themselves fighting over money. If you and your spouse often argue over your finances, consider some of these financial tips for married […]

Investing in your Marriage

1. Investing time in your marriage. Marriage needs time. Find and make time for your relationship to grow. Choose a day bi-weekly or monthly for the two of you, and that day should not be given or negotiated away. Block that day in your diary, and don’t cancel that important appointment. 2. Investing money in […]

Marriage Counseling: Financial Stress and Crisis

“How to mend your Marriage when the Bank is breaking”. Financial stress is overtaking many marriages today. It can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back when there are other issues in a marriage. Financial worries invite couples to play the “blame game”. No one is taking their own portion of responsibility, each just […]

Insights Into Establishing A Harmonious Blended Family

Many adults are getting married with children already in the wings. The result – blended families – can be greatly rewarding, although not without conflict. This article highlights some areas of concern for blended families and how to deal with them. It is not uncommon these days for couples to pursue remarriage with children already […]

Marriage Counseling: Financial Stress and Crisis

“How to mend your Marriage when the Bank is breaking”. Financial stress is overtaking many marriages today. It can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back when there are other issues in a marriage. Financial worries invite couples to play the “blame game”. No one is taking their own portion of responsibility, each just […]

The Stepchild’s Point of View

My son became a stepchild at nine, after being the only child of a single mom since he could remember. When he grew up, he shared this with me: “The odd thing for a child who becomes part of a stepfamily is that their sense of the safe and familiar becomes totally disrupted almost overnight. Especially when […]

Dealing with separation, divorce, and remarriage

Most people going through separation and divorce go through a whole range of intense emotions: sadness, anger, hurt, fear of an uncertain future, loneliness, confusion over the many decisions you must make, and a sense of failure at your lost plans and dreams. How you choose to handle a separation is very important because of the effect […]

Step Families – the Trouble With Expectations

Step families have their own version of a “happily ever after” myth – generally there’s an expectation that the remarriage will heal the family from the trauma of divorce. My son was nine, and my husband’sdaughter was six when we married; in my mind we were creating a perfect family of four, just as I had […]

Blended family: Wish or Compromise!

Remarriage affect the power dynamics within marriage. It witness changes in men and women in terms of marital power across their first-marriage, divorce and remarriage. It is observed that male ego and social setup cannot tolerate women’s market worth more when he compares with his worth! On the contrary domestically oriented women do undergo a […]

Top Finance Mistakes Newly wed Couples Should Avoid

Marriage binds two people together in a lot of aspects. One of the most important aspects being shared by couples is their financial matters. More often than not, newlyweds make the mistake of not talking abouthow they would tackle and deal with their financial issues. This leads to the mishandling of their money and sometimes, results to dysfunctional […]

Improving the Odds For Successful Second Marriages

Divorce rates have long been overstated. Recent research indicates that for more educated couples who are over 25 when they marry, the rate of divorce is probably only about 30%. Even for those couples who are less educated or younger when they marry, divorce rates are less than 50%. While data for second marriages is currently very […]

Remarriage Preparation – How to Manage the Ex Factor

Ex-spouses are usually part of the bargain with a remarriage. It may not be your first choice, but it’s a reality.An ex-spouse doesn’t always have to be a nightmare. Unfortunately, a lot of that is out of your control. Let’s take a look at some of the biggest mistakes you can make when it comes to dealing with your […]

Second Marriage – want to have a secured life again?

Second Marriage have become quite popular in this generation. Uneven things happen between couples due to which they get separated. You can safeguard your second marriage with some useful tips. Don’t disrespect your spouse. Spouses need appreciation. They need to know they are appreciated. Here all issues begin between marriages. Better is to inquire about medical […]

Becoming a Step Parent

With the divorce and remarriage rate so high these days, there is a good chance that you just might find yourself a step parent.  I’d like to offer some tips on being a step parent: Always remember that the child already has both a mom and a dad.Depending on the age of the children when you enter […]

Remarriage Can Be Magic

Remarriage is tricky. Actually, marriage of any kind is tricky. To have a healthy marriage or remarriage, you need to develop many skills and have great determination to succeed. Remarriage, though, has far more challenges than a first marriage. The good news, though, is that if you can get past those challenges, remarriage can be magic!Here […]

Remarriage after divorce

Divorce is a very painful experience. It leaves some unwanted memories and people who had gone through divorce usually become cautious when they want to start a new relationship with someone else. Remarriage after divorce might be a confusing decision to take. Because people will try to avoid all the mistakes that happened in the previous marriage and they […]

How To Have A Successful Family

~ Reconnect~ Do you feel disconnected from your partner or your children? If you do, you’re not alone. Relationships take work and many times they are more strained when there are children involved and our different views on parenting are revealed. We’ve become a society of disconnection. We hear in the news stories of children […]

Money Advice for Your Successful Remarriage

Money Advice for Your Successful Remarriage has triumphantly summed up all aspects of remarriage that involves money which makes it not only a must-read for every remarried couple but also a must-keep in their libraries. The principles behind every tips and advice are timeless and are applicable today as they were 20 years ago and […]

Creating Family Unity

Promoting family unity is valuable to keep up with the tumultuous society. When a person feels down, the family is the strength booster and sanctuary of peace. However, with the busy schedule that each family member has, it is getting more difficult to nurture family unity within the home. Nevertheless, every family has to find […]

Parenting With Love and Logic

Parenting with love and logic is a real challenge in itself. Gone are the days when a controlling attitude was all the more desirable and kids never used to raise an objection to the despotic dispositions of their mommies and daddies. But times have changed and now the children have become much more intelligent and […]

How to manage money after getting married?

Couples should remember that when they made their vows, they promised that they would stay together, “for richer or for poorer”. However, most wedded couples nowadays cannot seem to survive their marriage when it comes to financial problems. Financial problems are due to poor money management skills. Most couples who fight over money usually stick […]

Step Coupling by Susan Wisdom

This is a book I have recently read and is full of practical advice and well worth a read in my opinion.  Below is a synopsis of the book and also the views of other readers that have been extracted from Amazon.com.  Even though I liked the book I have extracted the reviews exactly as […]

What Makes Strong and Nurturing Families?

Human beings have the longest dependency on others than any other living creature. We spend our lives in relationships, either toxic or nurturing. If the family of origin was not supportive and loving, we either repeat that pattern or look for other mentors and teachers. Can you visualize a closed fist as opposed to an […]

Why No Marriage is a Failure

I bet a few of you read that headline and thought, hmmm Gillian doesn’t know my ex and the trauma I went through! It’s true, and I accept that many marriages are painful, end badly and caused a lot of grief along the way, however what I want to talk about today, hopefully will help […]

Be a Successful Blended Family

The divorce rate for the second marriage is higher than the first, and the number one cause is the children. Would you like some important insights and solutions that will help you be a successful blended family? The following case studies and guidelines can help you to prevent and heal problems with your family. “I […]

New Beginnings: The Gift Of Starting Over

I recently had the pleasure of seeing the movie, “50 First Dates” starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. (Note: this article contains spoilers for the movie. If you haven’t seen it yet and don’t want me ruining the surprise, you might want to put this article aside until after you’ve seen it.) The main character, […]

Treatment Planning and Blended Families

*Wise Counsel* David R. Miller, in the Soul Care Bible, provides wise insight into blended families when he writes: In the Scriptures we can clearly see that God considers children precious and that He is concerned about their welfare (Matt. 18:6, 7; Mark 10:14″16; Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21). Certainly there are many single-parent homes where […]

The Changing Face of Relationships

I believe that some marriages should never happen. I believe that some partners can grow in two different directions and stay together too long or gradually ‘die’ within a survival relationship. I believe some couples genuinely are right for each other but ‘stuff’ gets in the way and chokes the relationship. I believe there are […]

Priorities Bring Focus to the Family Budget

For many families the household budget can be an intense source of familial conflict. Not everyone always agrees with how the money should be spent or how it should be managed. More often then not the rest of the family reluctantly defers to whoever brings home the most pay when it comes to financial decision […]

Happy New Year – Why the world needs Love2Last!

Like so many of my friends and colleagues, I am currently engaged in reflecting on my previous year’s achievements and am busily creating plans for 2014. This year, I am looking at launching more coaching programmes; helping couples join their lives better; focusing on blended families and the wider ‘family’ issues; as well as introducing […]

Relationship Advice: What Is Needed For Deeper Emotional Intimacy

“I’m tired of feeling alone in my marriage.” ~Christian, married three years Often times, when couples complain about a break down in communication or some other marital/relationship problem, part of their distress centers around feeling emotionally disconnected from each other. This lack of emotional intimacy is often a warning sign that something needs to be addressed in your […]

The 4 Seasons of Marriage by Gary Chapman

Gary Chapman has come up with another great book that is applicable to any married couple.  The 4 seasons of marriage is not a journey through marriage from the wedding day to death do us part, but states we can find our marriages in at any time as they are constantly changing due to shifting […]

The Parent Trap – Remarrying your Ex

When I was a little girl one of my very favourite movies was “The Parent Trap”.  Hayley Mills stars as twin girls who meet for the first time at camp and conspire to bring their parents back together.  They are sure that all they have to do is get them in the same room, sparks […]

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